Friday, March 11, 2011

Almost a year ago....

It is so crazy to me that almost a year ago I gave birth to a Micro Preemie! What a year it has been! As we get closer and closer to his First birthday, I can't help but do some reflecting, shed some tears, and just praise God for all the ways he has blessed me, especially this year!! With all the reflecting I have been doing lately, I thought maybe  I could try a blog and that would just be another way to raise awareness. Awareness not only of Micro Preemies, but of what a great and wonderful God we have and serve!!

So what is a Micro Preemie? Many people have never heard the term, and to be honest I had never heard it until my water broke early, and more than likely I would be having one!! Any way a Micro Preemie is a baby born before 28 weeks and under 2 Ibs. But raising awareness for me is not just about getting the facts and terms out there. Its more like raising understanding about what your baby has gone through and still goes through after leaving the NICU, because your baby although born early your journey is NOT the journey of a preemie.

Our Journey

Discovering I was pregnant was the most wonderful feeling in the world! Michael and I were so excited, and we were scared at the same time! I had a previous early miscarriage, and that is such a dreadful experience! So we were holding are breath especially in the beginning as the weeks went by and I was getting larger and hearing a healthy heartbeat we started feeling more and more at peace and just pure excitement at being pregnant.  At 20 weeks we discovered we were having a boy, and that was one of the best nights of our life! We had a baby reveal party and it was just so incredible. I am glad for that moment, because not long after that at 24 weeks my water broke!! And that was the most scared I have ever been, finding out in the hospital that your water broke, it was horrifying!! Fortunately I hadn't dilated very far so I was able to make it 2 weeks on bed rest. Those are the 2 weeks I am most thankful for in my life! They were two weeks of turmoil, accepting the fact I was about to start a different journey and learning as much about early birth as I could soak in. Yet finding peace because the little one still inside you needs to feel your calmness to grow as strong as possible. I told myself I wouldn't allow myself to feel the worry until everything was fine. I still almost a year later at night and in the quiet struggle with those feelings. It was there on bed rest I heard the term Micro Preemie for the first time. I remember typing those words in a laptop in the middle of the night in the hospital bed and the first thing that appeared was funeral clothing! Saying a prayer to God to let my journey and my baby be different. There were so many minutes of peace  and turmoil in those prayers!!
Then I started showing signs of the infection, and feeling labor pains. We knew then it was just a matter of time. And I would be lying if I didn't say as the contractions got closer and closer together I found it harder and harder to not worry. Then the doctor's announced they would be performing a c-section on me withing the hour! I was so afraid while they were prepping me for surgery. I had always dreamed of having a baby naturally, and I was just scared about having a baby so early!! Finally they let Michael come into the room with me, and having him there really calmed me down! Now I feel so bad for him, because he could hear, and UNDERSTAND all the numbers the doctors were saying about our baby and He got to see Michael Lee as they wheeled him into the NICU!

It was many hours later before I was able to see my baby. Most of our family was able to view him before I was. I hope that doesn't sound like a complaint because for me in these set of circumstances trust me its not! Our journey ended up being a really great journey compare to most Micro's and fairly smooth even though it was long! Michael Lee Wilson,III was born weighing 1 Ibs. 15 ounces! Today he is almost 11 months and 18 Ibs.  Our journey is not yet over, and we still have struggles because of his early birth, but there isn't a night that goes by that I can't be thankful for all the struggles because I have such a bundle of joy. I see my baby smile, I even hear a loud cry and feel thankful, because he sounds like a BIG baby with healthy lungs!!

4 comments:

  1. Sweet Larah, you're so good and such a wonderful mother. Although all that time was scary, we all knew there was no better woman to handle the situation. We knew how strong you were going to be and well taken care of little Michael would be. I'm so proud of you. I'm not sure I've told you that, but I am. This blog is such a good idea. So many people need to that miracles still happen. God is good! I love you!

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  2. I'm so glad that you're sharing your story so that others can take strength and hope from it. You are an amazing woman and a wonderful mom. I'm so proud of you and your two men.

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  3. Congratulations on your beautiful, new blog! We praise the Lord with you for Micro and the blessings you have received through all of this.

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  4. It gives me chills to read your memories of the days leading to Michaels arrival. It's so different to step back and look at things as a mother, to know (however briefly) that fear for your baby. It was such a blessing to help care for Michael in those first few months and such a gift to have gotten to know the three of you and watch you grow together as a family. You are such a wonderful momma and I have grown to love you every bit as much as the not-so-micro anymore Michael! Thank you for sharing :-)

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